Boundaries

In life we develop many various relationships with many different people. With each friendship comes a boundary that evolves in tandem with the friendship. This boundary is defined by both people as they establish and show each other their comfort zones.
If you step out of these invisible boundaries or step into a comfort zone, there is little chance the friendship will flourish. As a friendship grows, so do the boundaries and comfort zones. Friends that have known you longer will allow you to step into their comfort zone and vice versa. Boundaries become much harder to break or step on. To understand this more easily I will try to define boundaries, and comfort zones.

A boundary is a spoken or unspoken rule, that all parties in a friendship know about and abide by. A new friend will not know the boundary and will occasionally step on it and apologize and recover or destroy it therefore becoming a stranger. An existing friend may step on a few or many boundaries before you decide to exclude them.
A comfort zone is more specific to each individual. Some might hate cursing, others drugs, others loud music and so on. People will tend to make friends who have similar comfort zones but will not completely shun others who might invade or be in conflict their zone(desire to experience new things).

Basically, boundaries are like walls and are not easily broken rules. Comfort zones are more like a line in the sand. It is much more serious to break boundaries.

The point of all this is to get you to imagine your own boundaries and comfort zones, and then realize that the majority are extremely superficial. We cannot help but categorize subconsciously everything we hear, and judge simultaneously; therefore we must consciously define our boundaries and ensure their righteousness. Not for my peace of mind, but for your own. Judgment is ongoing between social interactions. But it need not be so materialistic, banal and eternal. Change is inevitable, we must embrace it with our beings as we embrace a person with the same comfort zone.


Social skills are not taught or talked about in primary school, unfortunately they are learned arduously through interaction while in school, at work or at play. I will post more on this subject in the future.